Restoring the Artist, Part 2: What’s Actually Happening Inside?

Understanding your internal system — and why pushing through isn’t the answer.

If you’ve ever said to yourself,

“I don’t know why I feel this way — I just do,”

you’re not alone.

Burnout often feels confusing because it’s not just one feeling. It’s a conflict.

One part of you is pushing forward, striving, holding it all together.

Another part is trying to collapse, shut down, or escape.

And both parts are trying to help.

The Inner System No One Taught You About

Most musicians aren’t taught that we have multiple emotional states operating at once — each with its own history, role, and strategy.

In psychology, these are called ego states or parts. In my practice, I draw from Resource Therapy, where each part (or “state”) steps forward when it feels it’s needed — even if its strategy is outdated or overwhelming.

For example:

• The Driver part tells you to keep practicing, even when you’re exhausted.

• The Performer smiles through the pain because people are watching.

• The Inner Critic panics if you miss a note, convinced your worth is on the line.

• The Shut Down part wants to quit, sleep, or numb out — because it's tired of being overruled.

None of these parts are “bad.”

They’re trying to protect something vulnerable — something that was never fully heard.

What Burnout Really Signals

Burnout is not just exhaustion. It’s often the sign of internal polarization:

• One state is trying to carry the load alone.

• Another state is being ignored or exiled.

• The system loses balance… and starts breaking down.

  
  

This isn’t your fault — and it’s not a mindset problem.

It’s a system overload, and it makes perfect sense when you look inside.

“But I Don’t Know What’s Going On Inside…”

That’s okay. You don’t have to know.

This is where somatic curiosity — and gentle inquiry — come in.

One of the most healing shifts you can make is simply this:

Stop asking “What’s wrong with me?”

Start asking “What’s happening inside me?”

This creates space.

Space to feel, to listen, to learn.

And over time, you begin to recognize the parts of you that are fighting, hiding, performing, collapsing — and more importantly, why they’re doing it.

Try This: Parts Mapping for Burnout

Here’s a simple journal prompt you can use today:

1. Name the voices or impulses you’ve felt recently.

Examples: “I have to keep going.” / “I can’t do this anymore.” / “What’s the point?” / “I’ll never be enough.”

2. Ask: Who in me might be saying that?

Give each one a label or a nickname (e.g., The Pusher, The Tired One, The Doubter, The Caretaker).

3. Ask each one: What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do your job?

Let them speak freely — without editing.

This alone can bring clarity, softness, and even relief.

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 Why This Matters

When you start to recognize your inner system, something beautiful happens:

You stop taking your symptoms personally.

You stop blaming yourself for being overwhelmed, scattered, or inconsistent.

Instead, you start to understand that every part of you is trying to help — in the only way it knows how.

That’s the beginning of real compassion… and real change.

 Next Up: Letting the Body Speak

In Part 3, we’ll explore how your nervous system and body hold wisdom your mind can’t access — and how allowing emotions, not managing them, is often the missing piece.

Until then, notice which parts of you are most active this week.

And ask them, gently:

“What are you trying to protect me from?”