"Is This It?": Part 4 — The Quiet Shame of Wanting More
- Michael Sundell
- 5 days ago
- 3 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
“You’ve achieved what others dream of. And yet... something in you still longs. That doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.”
The Taboo of Desire
In the world of professional music, few things feel riskier than saying,
“I’m not sure this is enough for me anymore.”
We’re taught to be grateful — even lucky — just to have jobs in the arts.
To feel anything less than fulfilled is often met with raised eyebrows or whispered judgment.
So we learn to silence our curiosity.
We tell ourselves it’s dangerous to want more.
But that inner restlessness?
It’s not disloyalty.
It’s your soul tugging at the edges of your current container.
Somatic Practice: Listening to the Longing
Find a comfortable place to sit or stand. Let your eyes close.
Place one hand on your chest, and one on your belly.
Recall a recent moment when you felt a quiet ache — a desire to create, to rest, or to do something entirely different.
Let your body respond. Where do you feel that longing?
Is it expansive or tight? Hot or cool? Forward-moving or still?
You don’t have to name it or act on it.
Just feel.
Your body knows when something is beginning to shift.
Reframe: Wanting More Doesn’t Make You Ungrateful
You can hold two truths at once:
I am grateful for what I have.
And I want something more — or different, or deeper.
Gratitude and desire are not opposites.
In fact, the most sacred kind of desire often arises because you’ve tasted what’s possible —
and now you’re ready for a new octave of truth.
Reflective Inquiry (Parts-Based Prompt)
If no one would judge me, what would I admit I truly want?
What part of me fears being seen as “not a real musician” if I explore something else?
What might it feel like to want something without needing to justify it?
Let your answers rise from within — not from analysis, but from the part of you that already knows.
Emotional Truth
The shame of desire is one of the heaviest weights musicians carry.
We’re not supposed to say we’re tired.
Or uninspired.
Or dreaming about something else.
We fear being seen as selfish, ungrateful, or “less than” — especially by those who haven't reached where we are, or still long for what we have.
But this inner conflict doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
It means you’re at a threshold.
Permission
You are allowed to evolve.
You are allowed to want rest, change, freedom, or creative rebirth.
You are allowed to want things that make no sense to anyone but you.
Let the longing be heard — not explained.
It’s not demanding a solution.
It’s asking for space —to breathe, to become, to emerge.
Want to go deeper?
This work doesn’t have to stay on the page.
If you’re a musician navigating burnout, identity shifts, or creative uncertainty, I offer 1:1 coaching designed to support you from the inside out.
My approach is rooted in presence, trust, and curiosity — not analysis or judgement.
Together, we create space to reconnect with what’s true, alive, and still unfolding in you.
Stay connected.
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