"Is This It?": Part 5 — The Shift from Perfectionism to Trust-Based Excellence
- Michael Sundell
- Jun 1
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 2
“Perfection is control disguised as devotion. Excellence is presence rooted in trust.”
The Unseen Cost of Perfectionism
Most musicians don’t aim for mediocrity — they’re doing their best to realize an ideal.
Of course they want the product to be as close to that ideal as possible.
But what matters just as much as the standard itself… is how they relate to themselves in the process.
Someone in a perfectionistic mindset typically only has two options: success or failure.
And failure is anything that falls short of flawless.
This binary is often focused strictly on technical execution and tends to ignore the deeper dimensions of great performance — presence, connection, flow.
Because for the perfectionist, self-worth is fused with performance.
It rises and falls based on the outcome of each concert, each audition, each review.
The stakes are always high — because their identity is always on the line.
Even when fully prepared, the perfectionist struggles to trust themselves unless they’re actively controlling every moment.
And that kind of tight control pulls them out of presence, out of flow, out of music.
This mindset often extends outward — in comparison to peers, self-policing, and constant recalibration of worth.
It’s a mentality that gets romanticized in stories of the suffering artist, or in films like Whiplash, where abuse (both internal and external) is framed as a necessary cost of greatness.
But there is another way.
An artist can pursue the exact same high standards with a radically different relationship to themselves.
They can care just as deeply. Strive just as intently.
And still trust themselves — even if it doesn’t go perfectly.
Somatic Practice: The Body Under Pressure
Take a few moments. Sit or stand comfortably. Let your awareness settle.
Recall a time you performed from a place of perfectionism — when the stakes were high, and your focus was on not messing up.
Where in your body do you feel that memory?
(Jaw? Gut? Neck? Shoulders?)
Now bring to mind a time — even briefly — when you performed from a place of trust.
When you allowed presence, when something flowed.
What shifts in your body? What opens? What steadies?
Perfectionism lives in the nervous system.
So does freedom.
Reframe: Perfectionism vs. Trust-Based Excellence
Let’s clarify the difference:
Perfectionism | Trust-Based Excellence |
Rooted in fear and control | Rooted in trust and presence |
Identity tied to flawless outcomes | Identity grounded in intrinsic self-worth and process |
Driven by the need to control | Driven by trust, mastery, and intention |
Rigid, tight, and high-stakes | Spacious, expressive, and high-integrity |
Strives to eliminate all error | Makes room for humanity and connection |
Short-term performance survival | Long-term creative sustainability |
Perfectionism says: “I must get this right or I’ve failed.”
Excellence says: “I trust myself to show up — and make music that breathes.”
The trust-based artist may still strive for perfection —
but if they fall short, they don’t equate that with failure or unworthiness.
Their self-worth is grounded in something deeper:
inherent value, human complexity, and a long view of growth.
From that foundation, they can prepare rigorously and still let go when it’s time to perform —
which ironically, is the very state that allows presence, flow, and connection to emerge.
Excellence doesn’t mean striving less.
It means trusting more.
Reflective Inquiry (Parts-Based Prompt)
What am I using perfectionism to protect myself from?
What would change if I defined “success” before I walked onstage — and held that definition with compassion?
What part of me believes I have to be flawless to be worthy?
What part of me knows that presence matters more than perfection?
Let these questions invite a dialogue between the part that strives for safety through control — and the part that’s ready to lead with trust.
Emotional Truth
Perfectionism is seductive because it promises safety.
It says, "If you’re flawless, you’ll be untouchable — beyond reproach"
But that promise is hollow — because it disconnects you from the very qualities that make music meaningful:
Presence. Flow. Connection.
Preparation without trust is hollow.
It’s only through letting go of the need to control the outcome that true connection becomes possible.
Permission
You are allowed to aim high without abandoning yourself.
You are allowed to define excellence in ways that honor your body, mind, and spirit.
You are allowed to bring your whole self to the music — even the imperfect, breathing parts.
You are allowed to trust your preparation — and trust yourself.
Excellence is not the absence of flaws.
It’s what emerges when trust, courage, and presence are allowed to lead.
Want to go deeper?
This work doesn’t have to stay on the page.
If you’re a musician navigating burnout, identity shifts, or creative uncertainty, I offer 1:1 coaching designed to support you from the inside out.
My approach is rooted in presence, trust, and curiosity — not analysis or judgement.
Together, we create space to reconnect with what’s true, alive, and still unfolding in you.
Stay connected.
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