"Is This It?": A Midlife Reflection Guide for Musicians at the Crossroads of Career & Identity
- Michael Sundell
- May 31
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 2
At some point, the career you once chased begins to feel like a life you’re carrying.
You’ve accomplished much — maybe more than you ever imagined — but something inside is shifting.
The joy isn't what it used to be. What once thrilled you now feels routine.
The music is still there… but your relationship to it is evolving.
"Is This It?" is a six-part reflection series for musicians navigating the quiet crossroads of midlife.
It’s for those who have stayed the course — and now find themselves asking new questions:
What do I still love? What no longer fits? Who am I now — inside the music?
This series doesn’t offer quick fixes or answers.
It offers space — for inquiry, for grief, for redefinition.
For staying in relationship with the art you love, even as you grow beyond the version of yourself who began.
Because you’re not finished.
You’re still listening.
And the next movement is still unfolding.
Part 1 — When the Spark Fades
“We’re not the same people in our 40s and 50s as we were in our 20s. So it’s natural — even necessary — that our relationship to music evolves, too.”
For many orchestra musicians, the first decade of performing professionally feels electric — driven by ambition, mastery, and a deep sense of purpose.
We push ourselves to scale the peaks of repertoire, win auditions, prove our worth, and meet the highest standards of artistry.
But something shifts in midlife.
The spark flickers. Music feels… different.
You might notice that pieces that once lit you up now feel flat — even mechanical.
That you're spending more time bracing against mistakes than being moved by the music.
You may wonder:
Have I changed? Has the music changed?
The truth is: both have.
And perhaps… that’s not a problem to solve, but a signal to listen more deeply.
Somatic Practice: Let Your Body Speak
Midlife invites us back into the body — not as an obstacle to push through, but as a source of insight.
Find a quiet moment. Let your awareness settle downward, into breath, into sensation.
Take a few slow breaths and gently explore:
Recall a piece of music that once moved you deeply.
Let yourself feel how it used to live in your body — emotionally, physically, spiritually.
Now, sense into how it feels to play or hear that piece today.
What shifts in your breath, posture, or energy?
What’s still alive? What feels dull, distant, or defended?
Where do you feel the ache of loss — or the thread of continuity?
No analysis needed. Let your body’s wisdom speak in its own way.
Reframe: Emotional Evolution Isn’t Regression — It’s Maturation
When feelings shift, we often interpret it as a loss or failure. But what if this emotional change is a sign of growth, not decay?
What if the question isn’t “How do I get back to how it used to feel?” but instead:
“What is the music asking of me now?”
This is not a return to former passion, but a re-meeting of music from where you are now — with more honesty, more complexity, and more wholeness.
Parts-Based Reflection: Listening Within
Your relationship to music is not singular. It’s shaped by many inner voices — parts that once thrived on achievement, parts that longed to feel special, parts that carried pressure, joy, fear, or love.
Now is the time to listen.
What kind of relationship do I want with my instrument — and with myself — at this stage of life?
Which parts of me are trying to protect something — and why?Which ones are longing to be heard in a new way?
What parts feel tired? Which are still holding on? Which are ready for something else?
Let these questions be doorways — not to answers, but to connection.
Emotional Truth: Grief as a Companion
What you’re feeling may not be burnout at all — but grief.
A quiet mourning for the self who once felt fully alive inside the sound.
Let that grief be honored.
Not pushed aside, not pathologized, but welcomed as part of your artistry now — a depth of feeling that signals change, not failure.
Midlife doesn't ask us to go back. It invites us home — home to who we are now.
Want to go deeper?
This work doesn’t have to stay on the page.
If you’re a musician navigating burnout, identity shifts, or creative uncertainty, I offer 1:1 coaching designed to support you from the inside out.
My approach is rooted in presence, trust, and curiosity — not analysis or judgement.
Together, we create space to reconnect with what’s true, alive, and still unfolding in you.
Stay connected.
Want to receive future reflections, somatic tools, and quiet prompts to support your next chapter — all delivered at a human pace?
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